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Advice for recent graduates prone to depression and projects that don’t get finished:
The life of an average college student nearing the one year anniversary of graduation: Jobless, lacking direction, approaching the age at which our parents married, loveless, and strung out on facebook after a microwave dinner; Too drunk or too ugly to be welcome at the club, labeled lazy, mad jealous of the kid from middle school who obsessed over stock market club who now meets you downtown in company cars with a (co)keen anticipation of socialization;
Gone through the debate a thousand times: you want to do something that you love, but maybe work is laborious by nature and your job doesn’t necessarily have to be your love. The irony of it all is that you haven’t even interviewed for a job you’re interested in, and have been turned down by employers who sit in offices which you’ve ridiculed. You think the idea of a successful career is a pleasant imagination, that it is something dreamed up by our predecessors and that we are now living in the hangover of our parents’ generation, yet you are too hungover to apply for jobs come saturday afternoon.
Jaded from your parent’s recent divorce, and the physical depreciation of your grandparent’s health, let down by the unfulfilled expectations of an expensive four year university, you think the world is a tough place: unfit for religion or compassion,
but where did you learn to think so negatively?
Oh! How much easier it is to be negative than to try: To try to imagine wedding speeches by friends, the natural beauty of reproduction as opposed to the ugliness of naturally inherent competitiveness, to realize liberty rather than job insecurity, to make art instead of criticizing it, to see the power of technology, not its tendency to eliminate jobs.
Where does this ease come from and how do we neutralize the venom of such welcomed (and unfortunately free-flowing) cynicism?
In most every conversation with most every recent graduate, we speak the same words: a dissatisfied chorus about our new born careers. They are the anchors of every lament and the monster in the closet, haunting our slumber.
Our words are a reflection of our thoughts. To turn the negative into positive, take a step back. Michelangelo’s David was not carved overnight. No one said life was waiting on comfortable couches. You’ve got to come to terms with the fact that you have to do the difficult things in order to get somewhere, that is you have to fight the monster in the closet.
So go ahead, open the door to the dark space where your unused interview clothes hang, pull the monster out by his hair and kick him in the face while rocking a smile on your own. And after you’re done, go down the hall and kiss your mother goodnight. But all closet-monster-slaying jokes aside, do yourself a favor: while chipping away at the big thing, don’t forget the little things:
Keep the groove shark swimming, sit down with friends for dinner, wander the city streets, whistle while you work, sing that it may pass, remember every face and don’t forget you’re alive and young because that my friends, is a beautiful beautiful thing.
What are the little things you do in order to keep the blues away?
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In Toledo, Ohio a 40 year old mother and her two grown sons got into the family cadilac to pay a visit to their daughter/sister. They drove the car to the apartment where she was living with her boyfriend. The mother and her sons took the pistol out of the glove compartment and entered the apartment. They held the gun to the boyfriend's head and beat his ass in with a few Steven Segal kicks to the chest. After about 20 minutes of mafioso abuse, they pistol-whipped the dude in the face, and the mother and sons left their daughter/sister alone with the beaten SO. The attack was completely random and detectives cannot figure out just why the beating took place.
Of course there are a million and one details that the police department does not know, but for the sake of argument, let's just say that said mother and brothers were being protective of their daughter. More Here... | | |
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An elephant hired for a wedding in India caused $303,000 worth of damage in a sex-crazed frenzy. Apparently the elephant sensed an in-heat female nearby, which triggered him to go completely ape shit. He "charged a lawn full of wedding guests before flipping over 20 cars in a nearby parking lot. Six hours later, the elephant was brought under control via tranquilizer.
The only thing I've got to say to this elephant is: "I feel you bro." When I'm hanging out at my cousin's wedding and I see some chick from a few aisles up turning around and giving me the eye, the first thing I do is uppercut the person sitting next to me right in the jaw. At that point the elephant rage sets in and I start kicking people out of their chair as I make my way towards the parking lot. Flipping SUV's is not that big of a deal, even when a good 30 percent of my blood flow has made its way down south. After about 15 flipped automobiles, I've just about had my fix, but I'm still DTF. I make my way back to the wedding reception and needless to say, the chick is beyond impressed and the rest is all cake.
It's crazy what we, as well as the other members of our beloved animal kingdom, will do when the mood strikes. It's like the first few seconds of "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye. It's why Clegg stole Kenny Power's truck in that episode of Eastbound and Down. It's a powerful impulse that drives us to do crazy things, like my man the elephant has demonstrated.
What's the craziest thing you've done (or heard of) in order to get laid??
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A 19 year old girl, working at a local drive-thru burger joint in Bristol, VA, handed a couple burgers and a milkshake to a car full of awaiting customers. She was wearing the normal attire of the modern 19 year old girl: a pair of boots, some tight jeans, a zebra print shirt and zipped up black jacket over the top. She also wore a lip ring and dark-eye make up. As she handed the food to the driver, a lady from the back seat reached up and handed her a flier. The woman told her, "you make men want to be sinful."
After the car drove away, the server brought the leaflet inside and took a look at it with her mother. The main idea of the paper was that, the sins of men are partially the fault of women. That if you are dressed in a provocative manner, that you are tempting the unholy lust of a man and thus you are a participant in the sin. The leaflet heavily concluded: "By the way, some rape victims would not have been raped if they had dressed properly. So can we really say they were innocent victims?"More Here... | | |
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Although it may seem ridiculous, I am summarizing this incident without changing or exacerbating any of the details from the factual happening.
So a man in Albion, Michigan shows up at a hotel on Saturday night and tells the clerk that he needs a room for the night. He seems completely normal and is granted his request for the hotel room. At some point in the night, something ticks in this guys head. He pulls the plug on the alarm clock, places it in the microwave, turns the microwave on, retrieves a piece of paper and scribbles these prolific words: "God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion."
He then pulls a pistol out of his pocket and begins firing at random objects in the hotel room. He shoots the bed, a window, the walls and the ceiling. At that point the police show up. The crazed man fires another shot through the door, but no one is injured. The police eventually convince the man to come out of the room and he is arrested at that point.
What was going on in that guy's head? Was he on some kind of PCP or just high on religious fundamentalism? Or maybe he was just completely crazy? Regardless of the questions, we have one lead on this guy's mental disposition and that is the note he wrote about being delivered from evil and placed in Michigan.
Is it the irrational religious fundamentalism that drives people on these crazy and dangerous adventures? or are the psychotic going to shoot up empty hotel rooms regardless of their belief? Maybe religion is just an easy scapegoat for the mentally unstable?
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